Babies

Let's start this off by saying... No.  I'm NOT pregnant.  Seriously.

It's funny, after you're married, that questions seems to be as common as, "Hey, how ya doing?"  It pretty much goes, "How's married life?  Any babies in your future?"  Though some people see it as something very personal, I'm not uncomfortable with it.  But how does anyone asking me know that?  What if I was pregnant and didn't want to tell anyone, would I lie? I don't want to lie.  It puts someone in a bit of a pickle, don't it?  But to those who do it, don't worry, I do it too.  Easier said than done I guess.

Everywhere I look it seems to be babiesbabiesbabies.  The craziest part is I'm becoming more aware that that is just the part of my life that I'm in.  Damn near daily on Facebook a new friend is posting pictures of their baby or announcing that they are expecting.  Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for all of them.  I see/hear this and think of all that's about to change and come in their life.  I try to envision them being a mom or a dad.  All the joy and fun they're gonna have. How different everything's going to be.  I used to only see bad things.  How expensive kids are, all the things that could go wrong every step of the way.  What if I make a wrong decision or guide them the wrong way?  What if nature wins versus nurture and I end up with a bad egg?  I know how crazy that sounds but who really knows how the universe works, right?

I would like to have kids someday though.  There was a LONG time where I didn't want kids at all.  Before I met Mason, for sure!  But after being with him for a while and seeing a future with him and seeing how great of a dad he's going to be, the idea grew on me.  Then... we got married.  And BOOM, it's like a switch flipped.  I don't know what it is about saying "I do" that makes you baby crazy but now, it's definitely on the mind.  More importantly, I want it to be right.  I know that if it were to happen, it would be great and we could handle it no problem, but I would rather be expecting to expect.  I feel like it's all part of the process.  I want to make a conscious decision that both Mason and I are ready and then go through the fun of trying.

There is so much to pay attention to when that time comes.  Ovulation, pee on this, timing that.  All the lingo too; HPT, DPO, hCG, TTC.  And what if it doesn't work? What if it does?  Who do you tell? When do you tell them? Doctors? Man, I'm gonna get fat and have to buy all new clothes.  I guess that new pair of jeans I just bought are gonna sit in my dresser for a while.  Boy or girl? Name? (< Oh, that's gonna be a fun one) I mean it really is a science.  Ok, literally.  But something in the female anatomy makes us want all of that.

When that day does come, it's going to be amazing and, at risk of sounding cocky, I know were going to make great parents.  We are a good team. We take care of each other and love each other so when a little us comes along, that will just get spread around.  And, can I just say, it's gonna be the cutest kid EVER!

Stay tuned for Baby Wagner coming to a womb near you... Well, someday.

The Married Life

If I had to describe myself, one of the first words I would use would be "wife".  I love being married and that's because I'm married to my best friend.  Not everyone gets that simple luxury but I do and I am thankful every single day of that.  Another word I would use to describe myself would be thankful. 

Don't get me wrong, after being with someone for 5 years, we have bad days, weeks, and even months but I know that in the end, we'll get through it because we were meant for each other. 

I'm a believer in soul mates.  Before I was with Mason, I probably wouldn't have had an opinion on the matter but knowing who I married and how our life is together, he has made me a believer.  On August 27th 2011 I was officially "stuck" with my other half, and even better, he was "stuck" with me.  So many say we're too young, that we still have growing to do and don't have enough life experience.  But the way I see it... Yes, we're young.  More time I get to spend with him.  If I were to stumble upon his path in my 30's or 40's, I would have wished I had more time with him.  We do have growing to do.  I never want to stop growing.  The plan is we grow together.  That we embrace our differences and make it work.  The hard times will only make us stronger as a couple.  And as far as life experience goes, I have 23 years of life experience.  It's not a lot but it's some and when I'm old and withering away with him by my side, I'll know that the experiences that I've had and the growing that I've done will be with him and because of him.  It will be something we can share. 

We have a quaint little married life.  2 bedroom home in a great neighborhood of Santa Rosa, reliable vehicles, stable jobs and the most amazing and supportive family either one of us could ask for.  We don't go out and do stuff every day but we have our fun.  It's hard for me to explain to non-married people that sometimes we just want to stay home and hang out.  Or that certain situations just aren't a good fit for us.  It is different being married, different than being single or newly in a relationship.  After a few years of being together, married or not, I just considered myself wifed up.  The jump from Kroh to Wagner was a peice of cake... literally.

Anyway, I couldn't be happier with how our wedding or married life has turned out so far.  I'm a proud wife and enjoy doing wifely duties (even things like grocery shopping or dishes) because I feel like I'm taking care of my husband the way a wife should.  

The Biginning

Oh where to begin... I've heard blogging is so "hot" right now but haven't paid much attention.  But more and more lately I've seen blogs and been enthralled.  I read them pretty much whenever they're put in front of my face so I thought to myself, "hey, why not!".  I have also increasingly realized how therapeutic journaling/blogging can be, but for me, I can never keep a diary or one book that I write in every day.  So since everything is online now-a-days, this seems like a great fit.  

It's October but I'm setting a goal for myself.  A new years resolution of sorts, that begins now.  I know that if I keep up with this, it will help keep me sane and looking back on it a year or 100 posts from now, I'll be glad I stuck with it.  So here I go... Things I like, things I don't like, opinions, thoughts, music, family, friends, fashion, and all that's in between.  

Trust me, I'm aware that I'm no spelling bee champ, my grammar could use some work and this is guaranteed to have no form what so ever but I kinda feel like that's what blogging is about.  Who knows if this will even see the light of day outside my own brain.  I'll probably want to see where this goes before I share with the world, but if it ever does get spread around, you've been fairly warned.  No judging, just insight into the sometimes crazy, sometimes level-headed, completely human mind of me.