Let's start this off by saying... No. I'm NOT pregnant. Seriously.
It's funny, after you're married, that questions seems to be as common as, "Hey, how ya doing?" It pretty much goes, "How's married life? Any babies in your future?" Though some people see it as something very personal, I'm not uncomfortable with it. But how does anyone asking me know that? What if I was pregnant and didn't want to tell anyone, would I lie? I don't want to lie. It puts someone in a bit of a pickle, don't it? But to those who do it, don't worry, I do it too. Easier said than done I guess.
Everywhere I look it seems to be babiesbabiesbabies. The craziest part is I'm becoming more aware that that is just the part of my life that I'm in. Damn near daily on Facebook a new friend is posting pictures of their baby or announcing that they are expecting. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for all of them. I see/hear this and think of all that's about to change and come in their life. I try to envision them being a mom or a dad. All the joy and fun they're gonna have. How different everything's going to be. I used to only see bad things. How expensive kids are, all the things that could go wrong every step of the way. What if I make a wrong decision or guide them the wrong way? What if nature wins versus nurture and I end up with a bad egg? I know how crazy that sounds but who really knows how the universe works, right?
I would like to have kids someday though. There was a LONG time where I didn't want kids at all. Before I met Mason, for sure! But after being with him for a while and seeing a future with him and seeing how great of a dad he's going to be, the idea grew on me. Then... we got married. And BOOM, it's like a switch flipped. I don't know what it is about saying "I do" that makes you baby crazy but now, it's definitely on the mind. More importantly, I want it to be right. I know that if it were to happen, it would be great and we could handle it no problem, but I would rather be expecting to expect. I feel like it's all part of the process. I want to make a conscious decision that both Mason and I are ready and then go through the fun of trying.
There is so much to pay attention to when that time comes. Ovulation, pee on this, timing that. All the lingo too; HPT, DPO, hCG, TTC. And what if it doesn't work? What if it does? Who do you tell? When do you tell them? Doctors? Man, I'm gonna get fat and have to buy all new clothes. I guess that new pair of jeans I just bought are gonna sit in my dresser for a while. Boy or girl? Name? (< Oh, that's gonna be a fun one) I mean it really is a science. Ok, literally. But something in the female anatomy makes us want all of that.
When that day does come, it's going to be amazing and, at risk of sounding cocky, I know were going to make great parents. We are a good team. We take care of each other and love each other so when a little us comes along, that will just get spread around. And, can I just say, it's gonna be the cutest kid EVER!
Stay tuned for Baby Wagner coming to a womb near you... Well, someday.
