I have been a mom for almost a year now (Wow! Where has time gone?!) and by now I would say I have got a loose handle on it, which isn't much, but I try. Life is ever-changing with a baby and I wouldn't have it any other way. One day she's rolling over, the next she's walking around the living room for the first time. She's a busy bee and doing exactly what babies do but life gets crazy and priorities change so in midst of taking care of 1... no 2 other people (I forget sometimes, I'm also a wife), mom gets forgotten about and there are a few things I miss:
1) My gym time
Before and even while I was pregnant I would get my butt out of bed and hit the gym in the morning. It was the perfect way to start the day. It gave me energy and confidence, it kept me in shape, made me happy and healthy and established a routine for my day. It encouraged me to eat better and be more active in general. At the gym I didn't care how I looked, I was there to sweat. It was MY place, MY zone. I knew where everything was at, I saw familiar faces and challenged myself every day. It was my "thing" and I felt at home in the gym. Now, being Arriah's mom is my "thing" so I've definitely upgraded but it's quite different having my "thing" be working hard for someone else's well being instead of my own. But the return is a whole other level of accomplishment. After I went to the gym, I would come home all gross and sweaty and jump in the shower adrenalin pumping, feeling good then get out and go on with my day. Now, I am proud all day long of the little girl we are raising.
2) Showering
It sounds gross and well, it kinda is. Before motherhood I would shower every day like a normal person. I would smell good, do my hair, all the things that of a woman in the Western Civilization does. That is SO not the case anymore. I'm lucky to put on deodorant and brush my teeth in the morning. There's just too much other stuff going on! "Uh-oh, Arriah's heading for the power cords, now she's trying to eat cat food, now she's chasing the cats, careful, that has a sharp corner, now she's got a dirty diaper or hungry or tired or....." yea. You get the point. What's a mom suppose to do with a busy girl for 15 minutes while she showers? If she falls and bonks her head, I have to jump out of the shower, shampoo in my eyes and save her. Hug and kiss her while I'm all wet and dripping all over the bathroom floor. Heaven forbid it's leg shaving day and I have to add a few minutes to my bathing routine (poor Mason). Thankfully, our house has a baby-gate friendly bathroom as long as I'm quick. Block her in, give her a few toys, make sure no cords or dangerous things are hanging around and bathe like the wind. I'm sure my neighbors think I'm crazy because after a few minutes, she's figured me out and is knocking on the glass wanting my attention so I talk to her or sing or make a fool of myself however I can to entertain her long enough to clean the lint from between my toes. Ugh, at least we're saving on the water bill?
3) Painting my nails
Since I was a little girl I LOVED doing my nails and almost always had my nails painted. I would do them myself or go get them done and it made me feel like a woman. These days, I can't get my hands free long enough to do my big toe let alone take off any nail polish that has somehow survived the months of grueling torture, 20 nails, 2-3 coats each, buff, file, and dry. Umm... yea. Not-Gonna-Happen! Or let's see, either spend $60 on a mani-pedi or go grocery shopping and feed my family for a week? I would love for that to be an easy decision in my favor but it's not even an option. My man is working his buns off to make sure we have what we need and we can live a comfortable life so there is no friggin way I'm gonna ask him to watch Arriah for an extra hour when he should probably be sleeping AND then go spend our hard-earned money to have pretty fingers and toes. No one cares.
4) Sleeping through the night
My name is Brittany and it as been 15 months, 2 weeks and 4 days since I've had a full nights sleep. My kid is only 9 months old but if you think the whole "waking up 100 times a night" starts AFTER the baby is born, you are sadly mistaken my friend. Pregnant chicks have to pee like every 10 minutes and that's pretty much true at all hours of the day and night but most of us don't want to get our swollen cankles out of bed that often so we hold it in as long as we possibly can before we get up, which is still every couple of hours. [True Story: I was about 8 months pregnant when I had to pee so bad I was run-waddling to the bathroom as quickly as I could and because you can't see your feet at that point, I kicked the door frame to the bathroom and broke my pinkie toe.] Anyway, if it's not your pea sized bladder its crazy dreams, or being too hot or too cold, or the baby crushing your lungs. You can't sleep on your back because it will cut off circulation, your right side goes numb and your husband is breathing in your face on the left and even though you are surrounded by pillows in a full 360 degrees, there is no hope for comfort. Trust me ladies, if you're sleeping through the night, enjoy it. Live it up, because you will miss it when it's gone.
5) A clean house
I remember being a kid and complaining to my mom that she was always cleaning. Well, yea. She probably was because with 3 kids you are never going to be done with laundry, dishes, sweeping, and dusting. I have a whole new perspective now. It's hard for me to see a mess and not clean it up, I like things clean and put away but sometimes I'm just too damn tired or Arriah or Mason is just more important. I have tried to consciously decide to NOT clean for a day and spend that time doing something for me or being with my family. Having a clean house is not the most important thing but last week's chicken dish soaking the sink is going to drive me crazy until it's clean. And with a baby who's so low to the ground and crawling on the floor, she sees every little dust bunny or stale Cherrio and, as with everything else, it goes right in her mouth. So cleaning HAS to be done but just as soon as you fold those 12 loads of laundry, she pees on the changing table and you need to run another load. What I would give to sit down at the end of the day to a clean house, full belly, and watch some TV knowing everything is done. I used to have that but now, I'm stepping over toys in every room and scraping the peas off the high chair. Here's the truth; A messy house is a happy house, it means it's lived in. And though having my house clean is important to me, there are so many other more important things. So if you come over and see the cobwebs hanging from the ceiling or clothes strewn about our living room, it's because we are a happy family with a busy life and sometimes I want to play with my daughter instead of scrub dishes.
As a parent you do have to sacrifice a lot for your children and there's a lot that will never be the same, like my body, or shopping, or getting ready without being interrupted but don't let anyone tell you it's not worth it a million times over. She is worth every change in my life and I would give up all those things and so much more any day of the week. She is a gift and for everything she's "taken" she has given me something infinitely better. She's my world, my best friend, and her and Mason have given me the best year of my life. It's okay to be honest and say becoming a mommy changes things. Obviously I wouldn't trade a single screaming, crying, poopy second, and I mean that! I treasure every single one because she's my mini-me. I think about her constantly, I miss her when she's asleep in the other room, and can't wait to wake up and play with her in the morning. She's so smart and growing so quickly I don't want to blink or I might miss it. Her smile lights me up and our family is so much more of a family now with her in our lives. There is just no comparison.
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