I'm A Real Adult Now

   I hate that waking up in the morning to a clean kitchen starts my day off right.  I hate that I am the type of person who makes my bed everyday, throw pillows and all.  I hate that I find pure satisfaction and fulfillment in having a clean house and fed family.  Not that any of those things are bad things, they're not.  It just means I'm a real grown up now.  I miss being a kid.  Where Mac N' Cheese or Cup O' Soup every night for dinner was fine and didn't matter.  Make my bed? HA! Only if I was going to collect an allowance for it.  No one is paying me to make my bed, in fact, some days it actually cuts into the time where I could be at work making money.  I'm a real adult now.  I HAVE a kid and a husband and there is nothing in life that brings me more joy than those things and I know that's what I've traded for not caring about messes and dreading homework.  It was a great trade, I traded up for sure but it's crazy to me to think that I'm in that place already.  It seems like last month I was packing up my room for college.  I've grown up and it makes me sad to think those days are gone forever.  The most I can hope for now is that my kids have a great childhood like I did.  I truly believe that a solid childhood helps to shape the type of person you'll be when you get older.  If you are loved and have fun when you're young, a parent can only hope that you'll grow up to be an adult who makes their bed everyday or who gets giddy when all the laundry is done.  It shows responsibility.
    I think another thing that makes me... we'll say "nervous", is I can feel that I have a great balance in my life right now.  I have a routine and schedule that everyone in my house is happy with.  I'm able to get everything done and still have time to blog or watch Scandal.  What worries me is nothing stays the same.  Even if I can hold onto it for the next 5 months, it's all going to change when the new baby comes.  I'll have another person to feed and change and take care of.  That much more laundry to do and our balanced life will be tossed upside down.  I have no doubt it will be worth it a thousand times over.  I know how much I love Arriah and how much fun I have with her.  I would do anything for her and I know I'll feel that way about the new baby but he's going to throw a wrench in our soup and it's going to take another year (or longer) to get that wonderful balance back.  But we did it once and we'll do it again.  I just know it's going to be hard and I don't want it to be but we'll make it work.  Just do it and push through until we're back in this spot.